Russian Funeral Flowers: What to Bring and What to Avoid
At a Russian funeral, flowers are always given in an even number - 2, 4, 6, 8 or more - because even numbers are reserved for mourning, while odd numbers are for the living. The usual choices are carnations, roses, chrysanthemums, callas and lilies in dark red, white or deep purple, presented as a modest bouquet, a basket or a wreath with a black ribbon.
Customers living abroad often phone our Saint Petersburg shops in a hurry after hearing the news, unsure what is appropriate and afraid of getting it wrong. The rules are fewer than people fear, and they are easy to follow once explained. This guide covers numbers, flowers, colours, the memorial days that follow the funeral, and how to arrange flowers when you cannot be there in person.
The even-number rule and why it matters
The most important custom is the count. An odd number of stems is a gift for a living person; an even number is for the dead. Bringing three or five flowers to a funeral looks careless, and bringing two or four to a birthday is taken as a bad omen, so many Russians count stems automatically. If a single stem breaks on the way, people often remove one more to keep the number even.
The rule is strict for small bouquets of up to about a dozen flowers. In large arrangements, baskets and wreaths nobody counts, so you can choose by size and appearance. When in doubt, say the purpose when ordering, and the florist will make sure the number is correct.
Two carnations or two roses are a perfectly acceptable tribute from one person, and many people bring exactly that. The size of the bouquet is never a measure of respect at a Russian funeral; restraint is valued more than display.
Which flowers Russians bring to a funeral
Red carnations are the most traditional funeral flower in Russia, linked to remembrance and also widely laid at war memorials on 9 May. Roses are equally common, especially dark red for deep grief or a close family member and white for a young person or someone remembered for gentleness. Chrysanthemums, callas and white lilies are used for their calm, formal look.
Families sometimes ask for the flowers the deceased loved, and that wish overrides general custom. If you know the person adored irises or lilac, an even number of them is a thoughtful choice. Strongly scented flowers such as lilies are better for an outdoor ceremony or the cemetery than for a small room at a wake.
Avoid cheerful mixed bouquets with bright yellow, orange or hot pink, decorative grasses, toys, balloons and glossy gift wrapping. A funeral bouquet is usually tied simply, often with a black or dark ribbon, and can be laid in the coffin, at the grave or beside a portrait at the memorial meal.
If you attend in person, the flowers are not handed to the relatives as a gift. They are laid at the coffin during the farewell, placed on the grave after the burial, or left by the photograph of the deceased at home. Men usually take off their hats indoors and at the graveside, and nobody expects a speech when you lay the flowers; a quiet word of condolence to the family is enough.
Bouquets we can deliver
Colours and what they say
Dark red stands for love and grief together and is the default for family members. White means purity and peace and is often chosen for young people, children and those close to the church. Purple and lilac signal mourning and are appropriate for any relationship, from relative to colleague.
Pale pink is acceptable for a woman or a girl, especially combined with white. Bright yellow is generally avoided at funerals, though it can appear in a wreath alongside other colours. Black-tinted or dyed flowers are not part of the Russian tradition and tend to look out of place.
Greenery is usually kept simple: a few stems of eucalyptus, fir or ruscus are enough. Fir and pine branches have a long history in Russian funeral customs and are common in winter wreaths.
After the funeral: the 9th day, 40th day and anniversaries
In Russian Orthodox tradition the family gathers again on the 9th and the 40th day after death, and then on each anniversary. Relatives visit the grave, hold a memorial meal and often bring fresh flowers, again in an even number. For many families the 40th day is as significant as the funeral itself.
Remembrance also continues on church memorial days, especially Radonitsa, about nine days after Orthodox Easter, when cemeteries fill with visitors. If you live abroad, sending flowers to the family's home for one of these dates is a meaningful gesture, often appreciated even more than flowers on the day of the funeral, when there is a great deal going on.
A bouquet for a memorial meal at home follows the same rules: even number, calm colours, no festive wrapping. A short card is welcome; condolence messages in Russian are usually brief and plain, for example words of remembrance and support for the family rather than long quotations.
Sending condolence flowers from abroad
When you cannot travel, the most practical option is to send flowers to the family's home address, either before the funeral or for the 9th or 40th day. Tell us on the order that the flowers are for mourning, so the bouquet is made with an even number of stems and without festive decoration. Choose from our bouquets catalogue and describe your wishes in the order comment.
We deliver across Russia; city delivery costs 500 RUB, and for remote districts and suburbs the operator confirms the price when confirming the order. In large cities express delivery takes 1-2 hours after confirmation, which matters when news comes late. You can also choose an exact time within 30 minutes, a time window, or pre-order up to 30 days ahead for a memorial date. In Saint Petersburg delivery runs around the clock.
The courier calls the recipient about 15 minutes before arrival, which gives a grieving family a moment to prepare. If nobody is home, we agree a second delivery the same day or, with your consent, leave the flowers with a neighbour or concierge. The card with your words is free, and delivery is anonymous unless you sign it.
Practical details before you order
Check the address carefully and ask a relative for the best time, since the family may be at the church, the cemetery or the memorial meal for much of the day. A neutral time window in the morning or early evening usually works best. If the ceremony is somewhere other than the home, phone us first at 8 (812) 507-67-05 to discuss what is possible.
Payment is online on the site by bank card, SBP or Yandex Pay, and foreign bank cards are accepted through Robokassa, so you can order from any country. Full conditions are on the delivery and payment page. Our shops in Saint Petersburg have been making bouquets since 2011, and funeral orders are handled with the same care as any other, quietly and on time.
Frequently asked questions
How many flowers do you bring to a Russian funeral?
Always an even number, such as 2, 4, 6 or 8 stems. Odd numbers are for happy occasions; in large arrangements and wreaths the count no longer matters.
What are the traditional Russian funeral flowers?
Red carnations and roses are the most traditional, along with chrysanthemums, callas and white lilies. Dark red, white and purple are the usual colours.
Is it appropriate to send flowers for the 40th day?
Yes. The 9th and 40th days after death are important memorial dates in Russia, and flowers sent to the family's home for them are a respected gesture of support.
Can I send condolence flowers to Russia from abroad?
Yes. You can order online and pay with a foreign bank card through Robokassa; mention that the flowers are for mourning so the bouquet is made with an even number of stems.
What should I write on a condolence card in Russia?
Keep it short and simple: words of remembrance for the deceased and support for the family. Long or decorative texts are not customary.
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